A Horrid Day
by Sabookie
Summary: Hmm, lets see. A weird song fic with weird stuff that doesn't even make since to me, and I wrote it. All I know is that if you don't read it, you will have bad luck for 20 years...
1. rags and stocking caps

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS SONGS OR ANY OTHER MENTION THAT YOU THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE MADE UP.  
  
A/N: Ha, Ha, Ha. This is sweet ok first. Harry and the rest are in their fifth year. R&R! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Dumbledore stood up from his seat just after eating the "Welcome Back to Hogwarts Feast". He cleared his throat and began speaking.  
  
"Hello my old and new students." He looked around the room. "As you know the Forest yonder is off limits to students and also the students are not permitted outside or off of Hogwarts grounds unless you have permission. Hogsmead is also open to third year students and up as long as you have a permission form signed. And one more thing, Starting after I get done speaking the whole of the fifth years and up will be required to burst into song randomly, as that is the only way we can stop Voldemort from coming into the school."  
  
Everyone looked at Dumbledore like he was more a crazy loon than they already thought. The Great Hall was silent.  
  
"Now," Dumbledore said smiling. "I have prepared a song for you guys as an idea of what you will have to do."  
  
Hermione has tears in her eyes Harry saw her mumbling something like "Will this be graded?"  
  
Dumbledore cleared his throat again and snapped his fingers. Suddenly music started blaring from nowhere. Angelina Johnson's, Lee Jordan's, and Harry Potter's mouth dropped. They knew what song it was and couldn't believe Dumbledore was singing it. Ron looked at Harry and asked if he knew the song but Harry just shushed him. Then Dumbledore started.  
  
Go, go, go, go  
  
Go, go, go shawty  
  
It's your birthday  
  
We gon' party like it's yo birthday  
  
We gon' sip Pumpkin juice like it's your birthday  
  
And you know we don't give a snizzel  
  
It's not your birthday!  
You can find me in the school, bottle full of bub  
  
Look mami I got the P if you into taking drugs  
  
I'm into having sex, I ain't into making love  
  
So come give me a hug if you into getting rubbed  
  
When I pull out up front, you see the Broom on dubs  
  
When I roll 20 deep, it's 20 wands in the club  
  
Wizards heard I in with Barty Crouch, now they wanna show me love  
  
When you sell like Lockhart, and the groupies they wanna hug  
  
But homie ain't nothing change hold down, G's up  
  
I see Filch in the School that wizza roll that weed up  
  
If you watch how I move you'll mistake me for a playa or pimp  
  
Been hit wit a few spells but I don't walk wit a limp  
  
In the hood then the ladies saying "Albus you hot"  
  
They like me, I want them to love me like they love Pop  
  
But holla in New York them wizza'll tell ya im loco  
  
And the plan is to put the wizard game in a choke hold  
  
I'm feelin' focused man, my sickles on my mind  
  
I got a mill out the deal and I'm still on the grind  
  
Now shawty said she feeling my style, she feeling my flow  
  
I get on my broom and I'm ready to go  
You can find me in the school, bottle full of bub  
  
Look mami I got the P if you into taking drugs  
  
I'm into having sex, I ain't into making love  
  
So come give me a hug if you into getting rubbed  
My flow, my school brought me the doe  
  
That bought me all my fancy things  
  
My crib, my brooms, my wands, my jewels  
  
Look wizza i done came up and i ain't change.  
  
And you should love it, way more then you hate it  
  
Wizza you mad? I thought that you'd be happy I made it  
  
I'm that wizard by the bar toasting to the good life  
  
You that faggot ass wizza trying to pull me back right?  
  
When my junk get to pumpin in the school it's on  
  
I wink my eye at ya girl, if she smiles she gone  
  
If the roof on fire, let the mofo burn  
  
If you talking bout sickels homie, I ain't concerned  
  
I'm a tell you what Gringotts told me cause go 'head switch the style up  
  
If the wizza hate then let 'em hate  
  
Watch the knutts pile up  
  
Or we go upside there wit a bottle of bub  
  
You can find me in the school, bottle full of bub  
  
Look mami I got the P if you into taking drugs  
  
I'm into having sex, I ain't into making love  
  
So come give me a hug if you into getting rubbed  
  
You can find me in the school, bottle full of bub  
  
Look mami I got the P if you into taking drugs  
  
I'm into having sex, I ain't into making love  
  
So come give me a hug if you into getting rubbed  
The music dies down and Dumbledore yells, "You know where we be!" McGonagall and Snape wrestled Dumbledore off stage. Nobody moved or said a word. Everybody was either shocked, amused or traumatized, but nobody said a word. After about ten minutes people started moving out of the Great Hall and going to their common rooms. Hermione looked as if she had been crying. Harry felt sorry for the first years for experiencing something like this on their first day, that had to be creepy. And Ron was humming the tune reciting it over and over in his head. They finally made it to the common room.  
  
"Hey, Harry!"  
  
Harry turned around to see Ron there still humming the song.  
  
"What Ron?"  
  
"Do you know what bub is?"  
  
Harry rolled his eyes.  
  
Everyone said goodnight and ran to their dorms. They had to get a good nights sleep if they wanted to survive tomorrows journey.  
So How did you like it? Please review. Review and I will write more!! 


	2. People On Dope

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, OK, ANYTHING MMMMAAAWWWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
A/N: Well, the second chapter. I am surprised that I got so many good reviews. I thought I would get horridly bad ones for using that person. Anyway Just to let you know there is a change in the wind in this chapter. The wind has something to do with P:eople O:n D:ope. Enjoy! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Harry woke up to a rainy, dark, and cloudy day, somewhat like the mood he was in now. He felt like he had the worst hangover in a century. Even though he had never touched alcohol Siruse told him all about it.  
  
Harry got dressed and headed down to the Great Hall. When he got down he started remembering the terrifying ordeal that everyone had to go through. He took a deep breath and went to go sit with Ron and Hermione. Harry sat down and started out his day with some beacon and a biscuit.  
  
"Harry. How did you know about that song?"  
  
Harry turned to look at Ron who was unmistakebly the only person with the courage to talk about what happened yesterday night. Harry shook just thinking about it.  
  
"Ron it was nothing, really." Harry said to shut Ron up. Everybody started giving them evil looks.  
  
"Oh huh. Your mouth opened up and everything when you only heard the beat." Ron said in a matter-of-fact kind of voice that Hermione was known to use.  
  
"Ok, ok," Harry said giving up. He knew Ron would keep insisting if he didn't. Harry sighed, "It was over the summer, I knew something was wrong with Dudley when I first saw him, he looked kind of pale. I thought it was just because of seeing all of the wizards walking around appearing out of nowhere through walls, but it got worse when we all got home. About a week or two later I over heard Dudley talking to Aunt Petunia about how he wasn't happy with himself and how he couldn't run as fast as all of the other boys and how he never got any dates to go to any of his schools dances. Aunt Petunia just told Dudley he was 'big boned' or 'round' or just 'fluffy'."  
  
Ron burst out laughing screaming fluffy. Harry started laughing to.  
  
"Oh, Harry you shouldn't laugh about something like that."  
  
Harry stopped laughing and kept telling the story. "Well, I guess he got tired of hearing stuff like that (Ron through fits of laughter yelled "Fluffy!") and one day he just locked himself in his room for like about three weeks. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia started getting worried so they knocked his door in. It was funny but not funny at the same time. It was funny because of the looks on Vernon and Petunia's faces. It wasn't funny because I know my parents wouldn't want me laughing at something like that. It was also gross."  
  
Harry started to get this dreamy look on his face, the kind you get when you're thinking of something totally awesome. Ron started to get inpatient.  
  
"What!?" He shouted.  
  
Harry got out of his trance. "Oh, Dudley was sitting at the foot of his bed sniffing something that was powdery like chalk listening to someone that was I think was called 30 cent. It was the same song Dumbledore was trying to sing accept some of the words were different. When Uncle Vernon asked what was he doing he said he was on a diet plan and that his friends gave it to him. I have to admit it though, Dudley lose about thirty five pounds on that diet stuff he called 'Dope'."  
  
Harry looked at Hermione who was looking troubled. "What Hermione?" Harry asked.  
  
Hermione looked up at Harry "Do you know what that stuff is, Harry?"  
  
Harry shrugged his shoulders. "I thought so." Hermione said.  
  
Suddenly all of the Gryffindors, accept Harry and Ron, were staireing at Harry and Ron like they wanted to beat them up or something. They were all beating their utensils on their plates in the same rhythm and beat like they were toy soldiers. All of the teachers and students were just watching, amazed, but not doing anything to stop it.  
  
Hermione jumped up from her seat and ran to the Slytherin table, Fred and George behind her. Hermione started walking, kicking the Slytherin's plates off the table. Against his will, some magical force made Harry stand up and run to the Hufflepuff table. He began.  
Last day of the rest of my life  
  
I wish I would've known  
  
Cause I didn't kiss my mama goodbye  
  
I couldn't tell her that I loved her and how much I care  
  
Or thank my pops for all the talks  
  
And all the magical wisdom he shared  
  
Unaware, I just did what I always do  
  
Everyday, the same routine  
  
Before I head on the train to go to school  
  
But who knew that that day wasn't like the rest  
  
Instead of my dad doing his best  
  
He took two spells to the chest  
  
Call him blind, but he didn't see it coming  
  
Everybody was running  
  
And he couldn't hear nothing  
  
Except spell blasts, it happened so fast  
  
He don't really know this wizard  
  
Even though he sat by him in class  
  
Maybe this wizard was reaching out for love  
  
Or maybe for a moment  
  
He forgot who he was  
  
Or maybe this wizard just wanted to be hugged  
  
Whatever it was  
  
I know it's because  
We are, We are, the youth of the nation  
  
(Harry sat down blushing his head off, Hermione started next still kicking plates)  
  
Little Lucius, he was only twelve  
  
He was given the world  
  
With every chance to excel  
  
Hang with the boys and hear the stories they tell  
  
He might act kind of proud  
  
But no respect for himself  
  
He found love in all the wrong places  
  
The same situations  
  
Just different faces  
  
Changed up his pace since his mommy left him  
  
Too bad she never told him  
  
He deserved much better  
  
(Hermione kicked Draco's plate in his face and sat down actually laughing at the look on Draco's face. It was The Ultimate Revenge! Ron's turn was up next. He felt his bottom lifting up in his seat. He ran to the Ravenclaw table and began.)  
  
Peter boy always played the fool  
  
He broke all the rules  
  
So you would think he was cool  
  
He was never really one of the guys  
  
No matter how hard he tried  
  
Often planning suicide  
  
It's kind of hard when you isn't got no friends  
  
He played like he put his life to an end  
  
To go back to his leader we might remember him then  
  
You cross the line and there's no turning back  
  
Told the world how he felt  
  
When he framed Sirus Black  
  
We are, We are, the youth of the nation We are, We are, the youth of the nation We are, We are, the youth of the nation We are, We are, the youth of the nation  
  
(Ron sat down. Fred's turn)  
  
Who's to blame for the lives that tragedies claim  
  
No matter what spell you do  
  
It don't take away the pain  
  
(George)  
  
That I feel inside, I'm tired of all the lies  
  
Don't nobody know why  
  
Who cares which way your broomstick flys?  
  
(Fred) I guess that's the way the story goes  
  
Will it ever make sense  
  
Somebody's got to know  
  
(George)  
  
There's got to be more to life than this  
  
There's got to be more to everything  
  
I thought exists  
  
(All of the Griffindors) We are, We are, the youth of the nation We are, We are, the youth of the nation  
  
Then as quickly as it began, it stopped. Every looked around at each other. Then they all started eating again.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If you don't know what the song is or who sang it I gave you a clue look at my A/N and there's a clue in the name of the chapter. Thank you for the reviews. Review some more and I will write some more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	3. Shut ups, Sit downs, and Oh Goody Goodie...

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is property to the great mind of J.K. Rowling. All of the thingies are hers. I don't own Kodak or other anime related titles. I also don't own any of the songs I make fun of. I also don't own any of the lyrics that I make fun of. Thank you.  
  
A/N: I'm sorry that I haven't written in awhile I just had to think. Well for my long absence I decided to make an ultra long and extra funny one two. !  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
In the hall Harry, Hermione, and Ron were discussing the event that just happened.  
  
"I don't know what happened to me! I just lost all of control of myself." Hermione said practically screaming. She was very embarrassed that she let herself get out of control that way.  
  
"Yes. But did you see the look on Draco's face! Absolutely stunning!" Ron said with his fist balled up in front of him like one of those ditsy anime schoolgirls.  
  
"Complete Kodak Moment!" Harry said practically bubbling over with laughter.  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes.  
  
"Wait, wait." Ron said to make sure he got their attention. "Buying a wand: 14 sickles, Using that wand to put a curse on your worst enemy to make him turn into a fat pig: Detention, Humiliating Draco in front of the whole school by singing a song about a dirty little man he calls his father and not getting into trouble for it because now it's normal for people to starts bursting into song in Hogwarts: Priceless."  
  
Not even Hermione could resist bursting into laughter at that one.  
  
"That just goes to show that there are some things that money can't buy." Harry said adding on to what Ron had just said.  
  
"Oh Ron, Harry, your horrible!" She said.  
  
Just as Ron was about to take a bow Hermione stopped laughing and started frantically rummaging through her bag. She took out a piece of parchment and looked at it.  
  
"Oh no!" Hermione sighed.  
  
"What?" Harry asked realizing that there was something wrong.  
  
"We only have two minutes to get to Potions and were are all the way on the fifth floor!"  
  
"Why are we on the Fifth floor to begin with?" Ron asked corking his head a little.  
  
"To hell if I know. We just have to make it to potions!" Hermione shouted.  
  
Harry, Hermione, and Ron ran down the floors as fast as they could go. On the first floor they accidentally ran into a prefect going up the stairs and knocked him down. He yelled something at them that sounded much like the word "pitch" but they didn't have time to decipher what he said. Though, Harry did make a mental note that that did look like the prefect that he had previously ran over.  
  
In the dungeons Hermione, Ron, and Harry turned left and entered the Potions room. All eyes were on them as they entered the room and sat down. Snape smiled and immediately got on their case.  
  
"Your late again. Potter and his little list of flunkies think they can avoid being disciplined. Well I think it is time we teach Potter and his gang of groupies a lesson." Snape grinned more evilly and started rubbing his knuckles. "Oh, yes. Yessssssss. I think its time that we spend more quality 'time' together. Just you, you, you, and me. Alone. Oh yea. I can see it now." Little beads of sweat started to form at the base of his head and his left eye was started to twitch. Everybody in the room was wondering what the hell was going on.  
  
Snape ran to the back of the room where his trunk was, unlocked it, and opened it. He started rummaging through it. "Now where are those whips and that saran wrap? Oh, I think that I still have a clean gag in here too. I know I still have something left from the last time. Ohm, yea. That Trelawney is one bad..."  
  
"Professor, Please!" Lavender shouted. Her face had gone very pale and her hands were over her ears. Everybody else looked the same except for Pansy Parkinsons' who wore a sort of crooked smile on her face. Lavender started shaking. "Can you please get back to the lesson?"  
  
Snape looked back over his shoulder and closed his trunk. "Oh yes, as I was saying before I got so rudely interrupted." He stood up and walked over to his cauldron and cleared his throat. "We will be making a Lappets potion. Does anyone know what a Lappets potion is?" Nobody raised their hands. Hermione was shocked at herself for not knowing.  
  
"Oh goody goody!" Snape said jumping up and down clapping his hands. "I stumped the know-it-all Granger!" Snape straightened up. "And do you know how I stumped you?" Snape stood there waiting for an answer. Hermione shook her head.  
  
"Good" He said with a triumphant grin. "I stumped you because the potion doesn't exist! I made it up like Poof! Out of the top of my head! Aren't I special?"  
  
Semis muttered something within the lines of 'Yea you finally noticed?'  
  
"Now class for this potions experiment we need: water, hair from the underoos of a wolf, unicorn tungh, and o.k. one black coat."  
  
Time passed slow that afternoon while everybody was cut and pasting unicorn toungs and other parts that made no sense once or ever into a construction paper cauldron. Snape went around the room looking at everybody's "master pieces". When he got to Neville's he stopped and did a frownish, grin thingie.  
  
"What his that?" Snape asked in his usual cold voice. Neville jumped in his seat realizing that Snape was there.  
  
"Uh." Neville's face turned a bright red as his eyes darted around the room. "My potions assignment."  
  
Snape laughed and held up a piece of paper that looked like it had been help up with some green gooey stuff that was dripping off of it. Everybody looked at it and wondered what the heck it was.  
  
Snape sighed a winning sigh. "Neville, you should have done it differently. But what would you expect from a fat pig in a brown wig that hardly fits his head and calls himself a wizard. I have to admit, I wouldn't have expected any better."  
  
Harry heard Malfoy snickering and flipped him a little finger signs.  
  
Neville turned a deep pink and looked at Snape evilly. Neville stood on a stool so that he was bigger than Snape. He stamped his foot and begun.  
  
You say I should do it differently  
  
(Suddenly all Gryfindors stand up. Out of nowhere Fred does the drums, George has the base guitar and Ginny has the lead guitar.)  
  
I don't necessarily agree  
  
Stand up, Sit down, Think twice  
  
Did you hear me ask for you advice?  
  
Don't bother trying to tell me your beliefs  
  
Your point of view is pretty stupped to me  
  
Add this, pour that, on track  
  
Do us a favor and don't talk back  
  
Round and round but the potions lesson  
  
Always ends where it began  
  
Round and round and we need a vacation  
  
We have a headache from you!  
  
(All the Gryfindors: )  
  
Shut up!  
  
(All of the Slytherins run out of the room Neville again)  
  
Don't wanna hear your voice  
  
(All the Gryfindors: )  
  
Shut up!  
  
(Neville)  
  
I'm sick of all the noise  
  
There's nothing you can say to me to bear a dent in me  
  
So shut up!  
  
Blah, blah, ba, blah, ba, blah, ba, blah, blah, blah  
  
That's what it sounds like you said to me  
  
You nag, and you brag, and we gag  
  
There's so much beauty in what we have  
  
You must have better things that you can do  
  
Or does the lesson move all around me too?  
  
You teach what we need, oh please  
  
We think you get off on hearing yourself speak  
  
(Neville does that stupid KellyO. dance. if you want to call it a dance.)  
  
Round and round but the potions lesson  
  
Always ends where it began  
  
Round and round and we need a vacation  
  
We have a headache from you!  
  
(All the Gryfindors: )  
  
Shut up!  
  
(Neville)  
  
Don't wanna hear your voice  
  
(All together now)  
  
Shut up!  
  
(Neville)  
  
I'm sick of all the noise  
  
There's nothing you can say to me that will bear a dent in me  
  
(All the Gryffindors)  
  
So shut up!  
  
(Neville: )  
  
Don't wanna do it right!  
  
It's messed up how you always think your right  
  
There's nothing you can say that's gonna change the way I am  
  
(All the Gryfindors: )  
  
So shut up!  
  
(Everything gets quit for a moment then Ginny jumps to the middle of the room knocking Snape down and does her guitar solo. Guitar dies down and Neville starts singing again)  
  
Round and round but the potions lesson  
  
Always ends where it began  
  
Round and round and we need a vacation  
  
We have a headache from you!  
  
(Chorus)  
  
Everybody looks at Snape and shouts "Shut up!"  
  
Shout outs go to::::  
  
Remember: If you Review I write! Thank you! Also if you want a shout out just post it in review section. And if you have any story ideas put them in the review or email it to me. Thank you again and byers!  
  
P.S. I have some other really funny story ideas for the characters. One includes Snape, and Ludacris/ or however you spell it. Remember Review!!!!!!! 


	4. Now Quidditch!

Disclaimer: I don't own you, now bye, bye. A/N: This should be nice. The next is better.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Along with the others, Harry, Hermione, and Ron just look at Snape. What had they said? What had they done? What were they thinking? That was what was going through their heads in that dungeon. By then Snape's face was boiling over with anger and embarrassment. He couldn't believe that he had just been humiliated by his students. He also put in a mental note to jail whoever had made up that wretched song anyway and sue that person for all of the suffering parents out there in the world. Snape had finally got back on his feet and regained his voice. He looked at all of them with his bloodshot eyes.  
  
"DETENSION!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. "ALL OF YOU!"  
  
Then he pointed to the door and closed his eyes. "Leave, NOW!"  
  
Everybody left looking gloomy until they got out of the dungeons. All the Gryfindors started shouting and screaming for joy and triumph. They were all so happy with themselves for showing Snape who's boss. Then Angelina came cutting through the crowd towards Harry looking a mess. She came up to him and started shaking him.  
  
"Harry! Harry!"  
  
Harry looked at her like she was crazy. "Um, yes Angelina?"  
  
"Harry! You've got to get your ass changed into your Quidditch uniform!"  
  
Harry was now really looking at her like she had lost her mind. "Um Angelina, we have only been here for two days. We don't start Quidditch for another, lets see, four weeks."  
  
Angelina grabbed his hand, pulled him out of the crowd of cheering Gryffindors, dragged him out of the doors leading to the Hogwarts grounds and toward the Quidditch Locker rooms. "I know that, Harry. It's a surprise game!"  
  
"Oh yea. Who are we playing against?"  
  
"Hufflepuff." She tightened her grip and started running now. Harry felt his hand starting to go numb (ooc: can you actually feel your hand going numb?).  
  
"Who is our new captain?"  
  
"Me." She opened the door to the locker rooms. Everybody turned to look at them as they walked through the door. Harry broke free from her grip and felt that stupid needle poking sensation in his now free hand. He rushed to a bench and started putting on his uniform. Fred waved to Angelina.  
  
"All hail our new captain."  
  
Angelina smiled.  
  
"What's up captain?" George asked.  
  
"Well, this is a surprise game so I really didn't plan this. Just play your best. Hufflepuff should be easy."  
  
Fred ad George cheered.  
  
When Harry got done Angelina gave the signal for everyone to stand up and start heading towards the field. Harry got in line and hoped that the Hufflepuffs didn't have anything up their sleeves. When they all got out there he was lucky to find out that they didn't. Actually all of the Hufflepuffs on the Quidditch team kind of looked like Dudley before he tried "Dope". They were all pretty hefty. The whistle blew and fly were off. The Hufflepuffs were so heavy that it looked like the brooms underneath them were cracking.  
  
Angelina got an idea. She looked up at Lee Jordan. She caught his eye then she signaled something. Suddenly music came bursting out of the loud speakers. Lee cast a spell so that no teacher could came within his boundaries to stop him from playing the music or they would get shocked. Already McGonalgall was getting shocked.  
  
Angelina swerved in front of some Hufflepuffs to stop them from scoring. They wobbled on their broom and broke it, falling down to the ground. Angelina watched and smiled. She circled around the Quidditch field to get the crowds attention, then:  
  
[Chorus 2x: Angelina]  
  
Move bitch, get out the way  
  
Get out the way bitch, get out the way  
  
Move bitch, get out the way  
  
Get out the way bitch, get out the way  
  
[Angelina]  
  
OH NO! The fight's out  
  
I'ma 'bout to punch yo...lights out  
  
Get the FUCK back, guard ya nets  
  
There's somethin' wrong, we can't stay still  
  
I've been flyin' and bustin' two  
  
And I've been thankin' of bustin' you  
  
Upside ya motherfuckin' forehead  
  
And if your friends fly in, "Ohhh boyyy", they'll be mo' dead  
  
Causin' confusion, Disturbin Tha Peace  
  
Since not into lution', we fly over runways causing heat  
  
So bye-bye to all you groupies and drug dealers  
  
Is there a bumper on your broom? NO WIZZA!  
  
I'm doin' a hundred on the runway  
  
So if you do the speed limit, get the FUCK outta my way  
  
I'm P.U.I., hardly ever caught sober  
  
and you about to get ran the FUCK over  
  
[All the Gryffindor Quidditch Players sing the chorus while doing backflips and shooting the Quaffle like it's a basket ball]  
  
Move bitch get out the way get out the way  
  
Move bitch get out the way get out the way  
  
[Harry, while seeing and now chasing after the Snitch] Here I come, there I go  
  
UH OH! Don't jump witch, move  
  
You see broom dust? You hear that fuckin' crowd?  
  
Start that goddamn show, I'm comin' through  
  
Hit the stage and knock the girlies down  
  
I work the crowd up - that's what I do  
  
Young and successful - a Quidditch symbol  
  
Hold up wait up, shorty  
  
The players want me for good luck- true true  
  
"Oh wazzzupp, get my broom waxed, what are yoouu doin'?"  
  
Sidelinin' my fuckin' bussiness  
  
Tryin' to get the Snitch, the games ending soon  
  
Give me that Firebolt and take that rental back  
  
Who bought these books and robes, tell me that?  
  
No, I ain't bitter, I don't give a fuck  
  
But i'ma tell you like this witch  
  
You better not fly in front of my *beep beep *  
  
[All of the Gryffindors chant the chorus while holding Harry and the rest of the Quidditch team above their heads for winning while they go back to the common room to celebrate]  
  
[In the common room, people drink pumpkin juice out of champagne bottles and pop open corks.]  
  
[Harry]  
  
Too bad I'm on the right track  
  
Beef, got the right mack  
  
Hit the trunk, grab the pump pump, I'll be right back  
  
We buyin' house elves out, showin' scars out  
  
[points to Ron who has on a due rag with a band aid under his right eye] We heard there's girls out, so we brought the brooms out  
  
Grab the peels cuz we robbin' tonight  
  
Beat the shit outta Slytherins, we startin a fight  
  
I got a fifth of the remy, fuck the Pumpkin Juice and 'soda  
  
[Fred starts singing] I'm sellin' shit up in the common room like I work in the bitch  
  
Fuck the dress codes, it's punk clothes, we all punk wizzas  
  
We on the dance floor, throwin' bows, beatin' up wizzas  
  
[George while takeing shots] I'm from the G.S.C., tryin' to disrespect S.S.C.  
  
And watch the bottles start flyin' from the P.F.P.  
  
Fuck this rap shit, we drink, two in my body  
  
Grab ya four, start a fight dog, ruin the party  
  
So move witch, get out the way yo  
  
All you faggot motherfuckers make way for Griffindos'  
  
So...  
  
[Everybody in the common room sings the chorus]  
  
After that last chorus everybody calms down. Everybody puts away something to clean up the common room before the house elves get mad. At around midnight everything is cleaned up and the party tired Gryffindors head up to their bedrooms to go to sleep. George fells asleep on the couch from a terrible hang over. Meanwhile, two people stayed behind. Who are they? Why did they stay behind? What are they doing? You will find out in another adventure for, A Horrid Day. Until next time friends, your hosts for this evening, Sabookie and Lee Jordan!  
  
Shout outs go to::::  
  
Remember: REVIEW I WRITE! REVIEW I WRITE!  
  
P.S. Just wait till you find out who it is. What am a saying? I don't even know?! HELP ME!  
  
"You know you waaaaaaaaaant toooooooooooooo, pull the trigger"- 


	5. Magic Man: Parental Advisory sticker and...

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the songs that I have copied. They belong to their rightful owners and record companies. I only made Parodies from them as a joke to make other people laugh, because that's what we need right now in our countries time of need, laughter.  
  
A/N: I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!! Note that what the chapter title says is what it means. ~~~~~~~~~~~ Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinsons sit alone on a stone bench in the Slitherin common room. Draco gazes into her big bulldog-like eyes as she gazes into his pale girly ones.  
  
"You know Draco. There's no one here accept us." Pansy says in a hopeful voice still gazing into his eyes like some over sized lovesick ugly puppy. "We can get away with a whole lot. yeh know?"  
  
Draco nods, his silvery hair falling in front of his face. " Yea I know." He fights the urge to say something smart like the usual Draco. "Don't we. always get away with stuff though?" He says, his voice a little screwed up from fighting the urge.  
  
Pansy tries to straighten up her posture, but fails with an embarrassing pass of gas from her hind parts. She tries to play it off by saying that the chair just made a funny noise as when she sees Draco's face has an even more disgusted look than normal.  
  
Draco looks up at the ceiling 'God.' He thinks to himself 'If I weren't so sick of screwing my mother and imagining Potter I would not be doing this.' He looks at Pansy again, seeing a bit of drewl dripping down her lip and fights the urge to throw up. 'Well." He thinks 'I got to do who I got to do.' He leans over to her until his face his about 2 inches away from hers. Then whispers while sliding his hands down her flabby waist:  
  
[Pansy:] Mmmhh,sssllllll That feels so good!!!!!!!!!  
  
Draco looks at her face as he moans and feels his stomach turn 'God. I must be a horny little bastard.' He thinks.  
  
[Draco:]  
  
Feels good ugly?  
  
He coughs and she opens her eyes and glares at him.  
  
Pansy: What was that all about?  
  
Draco: Nothing nothing. I said Pansy. I swear.  
  
She glares at him again then leans back on the bench. He leans in with her.  
  
[Pansy:] Yeeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......  
  
[Draco:]  
  
Yeah?  
  
[Pansy:]  
  
hahaha..Talk to me...  
  
[Draco:]  
  
You want me to tell you somethin?  
  
[Pansy:]  
  
Uh huh...  
  
[Draco:]  
  
I know what you wanna hear...  
  
(HE secretly thinks to himself that he knows what he wants to hear.)  
  
I know you want me baby I think I want you too...  
  
[Pansy:]  
  
I think I love you baby.  
  
[Draco:]  
  
I think I love you too...  
  
I'm here to save you girl,  
  
Come be in Draco's world,  
  
I wanna do magic together,  
  
Let's let our love unfurl.  
  
You know you want me baby,  
  
You know I want you too,  
  
They call me Magicman,  
  
I'm here to rescue you,  
  
i wanna save you girl,  
  
come be in Draco's world...  
  
[Pansy:]  
  
oh boy you drive me crazy...  
  
[Draco thinks:]  
  
Bitch you make me hurl...  
  
Draco suddenly appears on stage in the Great Hall. He looks at himself shocked at what he has on: Baggy jeans that look like they were Dudley's before Draco ever put them on, A baseball cap over his already bleached blond hair (Didn't know that it was bleached did ya. DID YA?) Black Converses, 5 platinum chains around his neck which makes in slouch, and a white wife beater that he feels really self conscious in, do to his lack of muscles.  
  
People start filling in the Great hall, most stop to look up at him wondering what the hell is he doing, other fall down in a faint from shock or roll on the floor laughing. 'What.Why are all these people here after hours?' He thinks 'Why am I here?' He looks around and sighs a sigh of relief 'Well thank god I'm not in the Dungeons doing Pansy.'  
  
All of a sudden music starts blaring from some hidden speakers and before he can start himself he starts to sing. no RAP.  
  
[Draco:]  
  
They call me Magicman,  
  
Jinx tall foes in a single bound,  
  
I'm single now,  
  
Always been and I'm gonna be now,  
  
I'll never let my mother bring me down,  
  
In a relationship, save it bitch, Do your homework? you make me sick,  
  
Magicman aint hexin shit, Flitwick you can jump on Draco's dick,  
  
(People fall out of their seats.)  
  
Straight from the hip, cut to the chase,  
  
I'll tell a mu'fuckin fag to his face,  
  
Play no games, say no names, ever since I got punched by whats his face,  
  
I'm a different man, kiss my ass, kiss my lips, bitch why ask?  
  
Kiss my knuts, hit my cash, i'd rather like it if you whip my ass,  
  
Don't put out? i'll put you out,  
  
Won't get out? i'll push you out,  
  
wand all out, conjuring shit,  
  
Wouldn't piss on fire to put you out,  
  
Am I too nice? buy you ice,  
  
If a deatheater died I wouldn't even buy him life  
  
What you tryin to be, my new wife?  
  
What you Pansy? fly through twice,  
  
But I do know one thing though,  
  
Witches they come, they go,  
  
Saturday through sunday monday,  
  
Monday through Sunday yo,  
  
Maybe i'll love you one day,  
  
Maybe we'll someday grow,  
  
Till then just sit your drunk ass on that fuckin broomstick hoe...  
  
[Chorus:]  
  
'Cuz I can't be your magicman,  
  
Can't be your magicman,  
  
Can't be your magicman,  
  
Can't be your magicman,  
  
i can't be your magicman,  
  
Can't be your magicman,  
  
Can't be your ferretman,  
  
Opps, I mean your superman.  
  
[Draco:]  
  
Don't get me wrong,  
  
I love these foes,  
  
It's no secret,  
  
Everybody knows,  
  
Yea I'm gay,  
  
Bitch so what?  
  
I wont go all the way down on Neville though,  
  
We'll be friends,  
  
I'll trip you again,  
  
I'll chase you around every pub you attend,  
  
Never know what kind of invisibility cloak I'll be in,  
  
[Everyone screams]  
  
We'll see how much you'll be partying then,  
  
You don't want that,  
  
Neither do I,  
  
I don't wanna flip when I see you with guys,  
  
Too much pride,  
  
Between you and I,  
  
Not a jealous man, but guys do lie,  
  
But I guess that's just what sluts do,  
  
How could it ever be just us two?  
  
Never loved you enough to trust you,  
  
We just met and I just jinxed you,  
  
But I do know one thing though,  
  
Witches they come they go,  
  
Saturday through Sunday Monday,  
  
Monday through Sunday yo,  
  
Maybe I'll love you one day,  
  
Maybe we'll someday grow,  
  
'Till then just sit your drunk ass on that fuckin broomstick hoe...  
  
Over this little period of time, Draco jumps off of the stage. Almost all of the Hogwarts students chase him out onto the grounds. Harry and some other boys including Neville, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, and Lee Jordan got 2 weeks detention for muggle dueling. Professor McGonagall was neither pleased or happy with the boys, as she was the one that gave them all detentions, but she was kind of happy about the fact that Draco Malfoy was gone, as he had to be sent to the 5th floor of St. Mungos because he lost all his sense when he got the crap kicked out of him. As for Professor Snape he took on a rage against Harry but I am afraid that that rage will be put in another chapter of A Horrid Day.  
  
Bitch you make me hurl.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So that was the fifth chapter of A Horrid Day. I say I did a good job. Oh and all of my long-time fans, sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I just started another year of school and finished the 5th HP book. Yes I thought it was awesome. Well I hope you enjoyed. Bonjour! 


End file.
